Fremdsprachige Gedichte

Lemons In White

Beitragvon Anna Lyse » Di 26 Jan, 2010 18:53


A lemonscent lies beneath
snow covered grounds
clean touches street-
days without noise
other than cars moving by
dampening sounds to a clear
no colored cold within white
.
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Re: Lemons In White

Beitragvon Antibegone » So 31 Jan, 2010 12:24


Hi IsaG :)

First of all I wanna say: I was trying carefully to get “senseâ€
Drehrassel: "Als Lyriker sollte man eine ahnende Checkung haben, von dem, was man da macht."
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Re: Lemons In White

Beitragvon Anna Lyse » So 31 Jan, 2010 17:20


Hi Traumi,

First of all I want to thank you for the differentiated view on my text :) A lot of the things you wrote I can understand and see now from where the confusion results from.
I`ll start off by telling you what I thought while writing, maybe it becomes a bit more clear. My thought was:
Lemonsscent is the ingredient in a lot of detergents, soaps and so on. Whenever I smell it I think of cleaning or washing up...here I tried to use it as a metaphor of a clean street. A clean street due to the snow which lies over everything, as soon as it melts the street is literally washed up :D
Maybe I should have stayed by this cleaning-theme and not jump from the scent to the listening and looking at. After all this piece of text is just a description of what I saw and heard while walking, the lemonscent, like I explained wasn`t really in the snow but more on my mind.

[quote]Next I find the cars and the (street-) days, not really fitting into the picture as “lemonscent beneath snow covered groundâ€
.
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Re: Lemons In White

Beitragvon Antibegone » So 31 Jan, 2010 17:56


Dear IsaG :)

Thanks a lot for explaining your poem to me. That actually makes sense to me. I was thinking something like that in the back of my mind as “lemonscentâ€
Drehrassel: "Als Lyriker sollte man eine ahnende Checkung haben, von dem, was man da macht."
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